Him and Her Sex Blog

We talk about sex and sexuality

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Him: Topic #27: Pedophilia

First and foremost I would like to apologize for this post coming a day late. I don’t really have any good reason other than having to psych myself up to write this post. As anyone who has read my post on sexual assault knows, my step father was a pedophile. I’ve known this topic would come up eventually, and I thought I would be ready for it, turns out I wasn’t.

Now that we’re here lets talk about pedophiles! My knee jerk reaction to pedophiles is hatred. I want to hate them all because of my step father, that being said though I don’t think that is fair at all. There are individuals who are pedophiles that never act on their urges, who actively seek treatment and fight against their urges. I think those people should be, in some way, praised. They don’t CHOOSE to be attracted to children, who really would? They just are. Some of those people allow themselves to be medically castrated for fear that they might break down and hurt some innocent child.

The others though, that is another story all together. The pedophiles that act on their urges are, in my humble opinion, the scum of the Earth. Those people hurt children so badly that they will struggle with issues of guilt and self hatred for the rest of their lives. Children can sometimes be inherently sexual, that does NOT mean that they are sexually attracted to an adult. Children play doctor, it happens all the time and I see nothing wrong with that. When an adult takes advantage of a child though? That bothers me.

I honestly think that pedophilia is a horrible disease that is a very real part of our society. I think it is stupid to ignore pedophilia and ignorant to sweep every pedophile under the bus as disgusting horrible people. Some are depraved, but some are fighting to rise above their impulses and urges, and that deserves, at the very least, a nod of respect. The ones that succumb to those urges though? Fuck them, they deserve prison for the rest of their lives.


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Topic #27: Pedophilia

As a medical diagnosis, pedophilia, or paedophilia, is a psychiatric disorder in persons 16 years of age or older typically characterized by a primary or exclusive sexual interest in prepubescent children (generally age 13 years or younger, as specific diagnosis criteria for the disorder extends the cut-off point for prepubescence to age 13). An adolescent who is 16 years of age or older must be at least five years older than the prepubescent child before the attraction can be diagnosed as pedophilia.

The term has a range of definitions, as found in psychiatrypsychology, the vernacular, and law enforcement. The International Classification of Diseases (ICD) defines pedophilia as a “disorder of adult personality and behaviour” in which there is a sexual preference for children of prepubertal or early pubertal age. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), it is a paraphilia in which a person has intense and recurrent sexual urges towards and fantasies about prepubescent children and on which feelings they have either acted or which cause distress or interpersonal difficulty.

In popular usage, pedophilia means any sexual interest in children or the act of child sexual abuse, often termed “pedophilic behavior”. For example, The American Heritage Stedman’s Medical Dictionary states, “Pedophilia is the act or fantasy on the part of an adult of engaging in sexual activity with a child or children.” This common use application also extends to the sexual interest in and sexual contact with pubescent or post-pubescent minors. Researchers recommend that these imprecise uses be avoided because although people who commit child sexual abuse commonly exhibit the disorder, some offenders do not meet the clinical diagnosis standards for pedophilia and these standards pertain to prepubescents. Additionally, not all pedophiles actually commit such abuse.

Pedophilia was first formally recognized and named in the late 19th century. A significant amount of research in the area has taken place since the 1980s. Although mostly documented in men, there are also women who exhibit the disorder, and researchers assume available estimates underrepresent the true number of female pedophiles. No cure for pedophilia has been developed, but there are therapies that can reduce the incidence of a person committing child sexual abuse. In the United States, following Kansas v. Hendricks, sex offenders that are diagnosed with certain mental disorders, particularly pedophilia, can be subject to indefinite civil commitment, under various state laws (generically called SVP laws) and the federal Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006. At present, the exact causes of pedophilia have not been conclusively established. Research suggests that pedophilia may be correlated with several different neurological abnormalities, and often co-exists with other personality disorders and psychological pathologies. In the contexts of forensic psychology and law enforcement, a variety of typologies have been suggested to categorize pedophiles according to behavior and motivations.

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Her: Topic #26: Animal Roleplay

I’m so sorry that this is late again!  I swear, finals and work will be the death of me! Now onward to the post!

When I first researched Animal Roleplay (also known as Petplay) I realized that the fetish is almost identical to BDSM.  I like the fact that these two kinks are basically one in the same because this made me less intimidated about the subject at hand.  Him gave us all the low down on the basics and the history, so I guess I can start on some of the psychology stuff.  

I would categorize Petplay as a sub-community of the BDSM culture.  The fetish seems to be focused on the power aspect of a couple’s sexual relationship.  The person who assumes the role of the animal seems to get the creative room to wiggle around in.  There are varying degrees of how animalistic people become during these Petplay sessions, but humiliation and admiration are large pieces of this puzzle.  

The act of becoming something that isn’t quite human and the role that one chooses to move into definitely interests me.  The animalistic person can choose to be humiliated by being less than human, or be admired/feared for being more than human.  I’m going to use Horseplay as an example.  Horses can be considered a tamed and used beast; in the past, we have abused them during war and any sort of very long distance ride.  People still will ride a horse into the ground, or until it dies.  Being ridden like a horse can be the submissive side of this fetish and on the opposite end, being a horse can be the dominant partner by pretending to be exponentially stronger than the human partner.  Horses are strong animals and they can do quite a few simple actions that could end up killing someone.  

I do admit that I enjoy dom/sub roles and have indulged in some activities that could be perceived as moving into humiliation territory.  The act of being lower than someone (and then in a different situation being the dominant/superior partner) can really get my blood going.  As always, as long as both partners completely consent and there is a discussion before, during, and after the act, then everyone should enjoy themselves and explore.  I think that if you are slightly interested in a kink, “don’t knock it until you try it” or at least consider slowly introducing the kink into your bedroom.

With some of the sex toys and products out on the market, this kink seems like it is easily obtainable to a point, so that people who choose to partake can do so without going out of their way to make their desires a reality.  Luckily for people here in our area, one of our larger sex shops have quite a few options at a decent price.  So let’s all go and have some awesome, safe, mind blowing sex!


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Him: Topic #26: Animal Roleplay

I’ve never been in a relationship that involved petplay, which is really a damn shame. I like to think that I know a bit about this particular subject since it is one of my bigger kinks. I love petplay stuff, especially Kitten play. Something about the master/pet relationship mixed in with that little touch of lashing out that happens in Kittenplay drives me up the wall.

It’s no secret that I’m a big supporter of the BDSM community since I am technically a part of that community. From what I read in the Info post I think that, for once, there is absolutely nothing surrounding the topic that I’m not alright with. I might not be interested in ponyplay or puppyplay overmuch, but I think they are perfectly healthy and as long as everyone involved consents…have at it!

I’d like to make something very clear about erotic Animal Roleplay: IT IS NOT BESTIALITY! When two or more individuals are in engaging in petplay or any other variation thereof, they are not roleplaying having sex with an animal so much as having sex with their partner who has assumed a specific power role. The attraction to petplay does not come from a desire to have sex with animals, it comes from a desire to be sexually adventurous and/or kinky with ones partner. I say again, petplay is NOT the desire to have sex with an animal.

In a shocking turn of events, the person with whom I find myself smitten is apparently not opposed to Petplay. I honestly don’t think of it as any more hardcore than your average run of the mill BDSM play. To be totally honest, I’m super excited and whatever happens will be fun and great and just…yes.

I’ll leave the more psychological stuff to Her, since that is her area of expertise. The only thing I would be comfortable mentioning on that front is that, while I’m sure it works amazingly well….I don’t undersand it. Then again, I don’t understand much of anything in the psychological field.

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Topic #26: Animal Roleplay

Animal roleplay may be either a non-sexual or an erotic sexual role-play (when it may also be called petplayponyplayponyismkittenplay, or pup-play). In its erotic sexual role-play form, one or more of the participants takes on the role of a real or imaginary animal in character, including appropriate mannerisms and behavior, and sometimes a partner will act as another animal, or, in a sexual context, may take the role of rider, trainer, or caretaker (or even breeding partner).

The principal theme of animal roleplay is usually the voluntary transformation of a human being to animal status, and focus on the altered mind-space created. The most common examples are probably canids (pupdogwolf), felines (catkittenlion) or equines (ponyhorse). Animal roleplay is also used in a BDSM context, where a person may be humiliated by being treated as an animal.

In psychodrama, animal roleplay may be used for a person to explore their personality, as a form of role reversal.

The origins of animal roleplay and petplay are probably various and diverse, again depending upon the participants involved. However, its origins are certainly influenced by costumingfictionmyth and legend, roleplay and psychodrama in their various aspects. Some of the earliest published images of animal play (especially pony play) are to be found in the work of John Willie, primarily in BIZARRE magazine published from 1948 to 1959. The first commercial manifestation of this fetish was created by Simon Benson the founder of the Petgirls website.

Cultural and ritual use

Non-sexual animal roleplay, or therianthropy, was a common and integral part of ritual in many tribal cultures both in recent and likely prehistoric times, where a member (or members) of the tribe would take the role physically and often spiritually, of an animal that was either revered, or hunted. Examples of the former include many of the American Indian tribes and Arctic native peoples, examples of the latter are evidenced by cave paintings. In 1911 Julia Tuell photographed the last Animal Dance (“Massaum“) performed by the Northern Cheyenne of Montana.

It is also sometimes used in education, especially physical education, as an enjoyable way to encourage people to exercise the body in unusual ways, by mimicking various animals.

Erotic use

Like much of erotic play and roleplay, animal roleplay in an erotic or relational context is entirely defined by the people involved and by their mood and interests at the time of play. It ranges from the simple imitation of a vocal whinnying of a horse to the barking, panting or playful nudging of a puppy, or playful behaviour of a kitten, to crawling around on all fours and being fed, or petted, by hand. (In the latter instance, its motives may be similar to those of ageplay, i.e. taking on a role that one feels spiritually appropriate or which allows for nurturing, and a change from usual roles in everyday life). To the greater extremes of dressing up as a pony in modified horse tack, masks, prosthetics and temporary bondage based body modification (such as binding the forearms to the upperarms and/or the calves to the thighs).

Public participation in human animal roleplay is varied. A couple could inconspicuously role-play a silly but loving pet play scene in public, but it would look like one partner is merely stroking the other’s neck innocently to the casual observer. In the case of many convention-going furries and some BDSM fetishists, one partner may wear a dog collar with a leash attached.

The reasons for playing such a character or animal can vary as much as the actual physical manifestations and intensity of the play. Some people enjoy being able to “cut loose” into a different, or more dynamic personality (e.g., Were-creatures or Catgirls; see other variations). In some cases, pet play is seen as a loving, quiet cuddling time where there is no need for verbalizations and the simple act of stroking, rubbing and holding the other partner is satisfying or reassuring in and of itself for those involved. For others, there may be a spiritual side to it. Some feel closer to their animal totem, while others may identify with something akin to a deeper side or part of their own psyche (see: Therianthropy). For still others, there is the experience of power exchange setup in a context or structure which they can accept. Clearly, again, it depends on the people involved and what they bring to it or take from it.

Additionally, some cases could be considered a type of animal transformation fantasy. They can have strong elements of exhibitionism, be totally enjoyed in the privacy of the home, or lie somewhere between either boundary. While not widespread, erotic human-animal roleplay is still enjoyed by a sizable number of people. However, it is still primarily identified with BDSM practice, or as being associated with furry or other alternative lifestyle activities.

For some participants, it has no connection whatsoever with bestiality, which is controversial and would usually be considered edgeplay in BDSM circles.

Autozoophilia is sexual arousal that depends on acting out or imagining one’s self as an animal. Paraphilic interests that involve being in another form have been referred to asErotic Target Location Errors (ETLEs), and autozoophilia would represent an autoerotic form of zoophilia.

Other considerations

It should be pointed out that each type of play can focus on a certain “strength” of an animal character. Pony play often involves the practice and training that a horse owner or trainerwould put their horse through to learn how to walk, canter, etc., as modified for human limbs. Puppy play often can involve BDSM related discipline. Cow Play often involves fantasies of lactation and impregnation. The usual limits of safe, sane and consensual apply to roleplay as much as any other activity between humans who accept and respect their partner’s interests and limits. For most, this does not include bestiality.

Note: Just because one partner is playing the “pet” does not necessarily make them the passive or submissive play partner in the scene. For example, if the form of pet play is for the meek and timid wife to “transform” into a werewolf or mischievous anime catgirl, she may take the upper hand and dominate the partner. Again, how the play is interpreted is entirely up to the people involved.

Use in BDSM

Some people believe that they have certain animal ‘instincts’ and through animal roleplay can let them out. This is especially true in the BDSM communities, where some people ‘live’ as their chosen animal 24/7. This type of mentality goes beyond roleplay and becomes a full lifestyle for the parties involved. There are also ‘hybrids’. These are humans who live part-time as one type of animal, and part-time as another. This is usually determined by the situation.

There seems to be a growing trend among the BDSM scene in animal roleplay, especially pup and kitten play. Playing the role of a pup or kitten is one of giving over complete control over to another, while the ‘Master or Handler’ expects only unconditional love and obedience from his/her animal.

BDSM Pony Play

Pony-play is sometimes referred to as “The Aristotelian Perversion,” in reference to legend that Aristotle had a penchant for being ridden like a horse.

Ponies (people involved in pony-play) generally divide themselves to three groups although some will participate in two or perhaps all three:

  • Cart ponies: ponies who pull a sulky with their owner.
  • Riding ponies: ponies who are ridden, either on all fours or on two legs, with the “rider” on the shoulders of the “pony” (also known as Shoulder riding). Note that a human back is generally not strong enough to take the weight of another adult without risk of injury, so four-legged “riding” is generally symbolic, with the “rider” taking most of their weight on their own legs.
  • Show ponies: ponies who show off their dressage skills and often wear elaborate harnessess, plumes and so on.

A documentary film Pony Passion was produced by British pony play club De Ferre in 2003 showing their club’s activities and Born in a Barn, a 2005 documentary film, depicted the lives of several pony-play enthusiasts.

BDSM Puppy Play

Puppy play or dog play is where at least one of the participants acts out canine mannerisms and behaviors, it is sometimes associated with leather culture. The dominant role is taken by a “Handler”, “Trainer”, “Master”, or in the case of someone who still identifies as canine, an “alpha”. The submissive may be considered a “pup” or a “dog”. Unlike other forms of animal roleplay, it is not uncommon for two or more pups to play together as equals, fight for dominance, or play where one is clearly the “alpha”. Puppy play is often about being playful, mischievous, and instinctive. In relation to other BDSM play, a “puppy” who is “unowned” or “uncollared” can be referred to as a “stray”. Other elements rooted in BDSM play involve bondage and restriction with collars, leashes, cages, and hoods, the submissive’s hands are often covered in mitts, both sexual and non-sexual services are requested, and “training” may take place in order to teach commands. The submissive may be asked to bark, kiss/lick the dominant’s foot/shoe, and eat like a dog.

BDSM Kitten Play

In kitten-play the person assumes the less serious role of a pet that keeps some independence and – as part of the fantasy – might retaliate against the partner trying to tame him or her.

Other variations

Some consider costume play, or cosplayanime catgirls to be a form or look of pet play as well, because these are generally young female characters that have the combined aspects of females and cats (generally a human girl with cat ears, a tail, fangs and a propensity for catlike affection or curiosity). Examples would be Cat Girl Nuku Nuku, Pink from Dragon Pink and others. Some superheroesheroines andvillains could also be classified as related to pet play, such as DC Comics‘s WildcatCatwoman and VixenMarvel‘s TigraMan-Wolf andBlack Cat, or even Nastassja Kinski‘s Irena Gallier in the 1982 film Cat People (a remake of the 1942 Simone Simon film), and Miss Kitty from the Brendan Fraser movie Monkeybone. All involve animal qualities taken on by a human. Some would even count the enactment or spiritual belief in therianthropy (werewolveswerecats, etc.) as falling under human animal roleplay or transformation play as well.

One group, the LA Ponies and Critters Club, takes the community idea of BDSM animal roleplay further by staging a mock foxhunt in local forested areas. These events bring together ponyplayers, puppyplayers and their respective humans for a cooperative, community bonding activity. One of the canine players volunteers to be the “fox” and marks a trail in the forest. The other puppyplayers form the pack of “hounds” that search out the fox and bark/howl to bring the ponyplayers and their “riders” to capture the “fox”.