Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! I hope that you’re all enjoying yourselves and having a good holiday. Now on to this week’s topic: Transgender.
As some of you may know, Trans Awareness Week just ended with a beautiful vigil and procession. This week is a hard one for a lot of us. There is a lot of hate and violence towards the Trans community and being at the vigil really showed us all that there is so much more that we all need to do to band together and protect and love one another.
This week’s topic is kind of difficult for me to write about because there have been times throughout my life where I feel like I should be identifying as Transgender. In high school, I came out as Transgender and began using male pronouns and binding. I ended up “re-coming out” a semester later because of my loneliness and the fact that I didn’t know if my family would accept me completely. I feel that my gender is fluid and I am not sure if I will come out as Trans again. I’m not sure that I completely belong in that community and honestly, I have been so comfortable and content in my current identity that I’m not sure that I can handle coming out again.
I have a very accepting fiancée who doesn’t care what gender I am and is going to love and support me through it all. I like that my nickname is so gender neutral, which leaves the possibility of picking out a male name open, but not a necessity. When it comes to the considerations of surgery and hormones, I know that in the future I will get a breast reduction because of my spine curvatures and my chronic back pain. I’m happy that I have these issues because I can also make my breasts smaller so that I like them more and if I chose to bind, they would be concealed easier. I know that I can’t afford a reduction any time soon and I’m not sure that hormones or bottom surgery will ever be an option or a necessary part of my journey.
I love how close and engaged the Trans community is in Tucson. There were so many events and programs that went on this last week that celebrated being a part of our gender galaxy. Seeing how everyone is so accepting and present in the community is really encouraging. I’m really glad that I was a Chair person for Trans Awareness Week for my internship with Pride Alliance. I met some wonderful and inspirational people. I am also very saddened by how many names were read off at our vigil. The people that we all discussed are just a fraction of the beautiful souls that were taken from us this year. I just hope that one day, we won’t need to have any more vigils and tears don’t need to be shed.