Him and Her Sex Blog

We talk about sex and sexuality

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Her: Topic #15

So every other week when it is my turn to pick the topic for that week I usually start looking by typing sexual related phrases into Wikipedia or Google. This week was a little different though. I was looking at military related things, because in a year or two I want to join the Navy. Then I came across this picture of the Marines and I read the comments and it made me think of this topic! So anyways, here is my response…

I don’t think that gender should affect whether something is hot or repulsive, or acceptable or not. Obviously some people are not attracted to certain genders, but that does not make it alright to post rude comments.

I don’t think that it is ok to post rude comments or make rude remarks regardless of gender, but it especially annoys me when someone is ok with say lesbians kissing but not gay men, I mean if you are homophobic you would think you would be regardless of whether it is two men or two women.

In regards to these images specifically, I ESPECIALLY don’t think people should be making rude comments because Marines, Sailors, Soldiers, and Airmen (almost forgot, Coast Guard too!) are out there risking their life for our freedom. It is ridiculous when people harass homosexuals in the military, if you have a problem with them serving, how bout you take their place and go to Afghanistan for them and risk your life for our country. But I digress.

I think that love shouldn’t be determined by the gender of the people in the relationship. I also don’t think that it is anyone’s business other than the two people in the relationship. When I read comments that are judging people’s lifestyles I really think those people need to get a life and quit worrying about what other people are doing and just concentrate on themselves.

So I guess to summarize, I don’t think that gender should play a role in same sex couples, and how society views them. 


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Him: Topic 15

A kiss is a kiss no matter the gender of the participants. I’ve honestly never understood the dichotomy that exists in society in regards to gay and lesbian couples kissing in public. I mean, people don’t seem to get up in arms when a woman and a man kiss, or make out, in public. If you look at the average college campus, you’ll see more straight and lesbian couples openly showing affection for each other than you EVER will gay male couples. 

Looking at the pictures that generated all the negative comments from this weeks topic, I can’t help but wonder, what if the man with his legs around his partners waist was a woman? Would the comments have been the same? Something tells me that no, those comments would have been very positive. I’m assuming that the only real problem with that picture is that it sets off people’s homophobia. 

Now, onto the question of why I think there is such a radically different public view on when talking about lesbians kissing and gay men kissing. For me, I don’t see any real difference between either. One doesn’t do anything for me erotically…but, that doesn’t make me hate it or say horrible things about the people kissing. I don’t know, maybe I’m just weird, but I think everyone should be entitled to kiss their partner wherever the hell they want.

The idea that lesbians kissing is “Hot” has got to come from men feeling emasculated by two women making out in front of them. The only way that men could possible accept that a woman could be more attracted to a woman than to say…him, is if he’s allowed to get hot watching, thereby placing himself back into the equation. Honestly, if you are reading this and you are one of those men, please do eveyone a favor and get a life. 

As I sit here writing this, I can almost guarantee that there is a straight man someone harassing a gay couple…because when he saw them kissing he got a little excited. Instead of accepting that they might be gay, or bi, or just think two dudes kissing is kinda hot, they lash out. I’ll never understand how this is still possible in this day and age, Human sexuality is not finite people, it’s infinite. 

Don’t be afraid of your sexuality, embrace it. Explore it and find out what you really like and don’t like, and if anyone tells you it’s wrong, tell ‘em they should try it too. I started this blog for the express purpose of bringing sexuality to the table and letting people read about things that they might never have heard of or been too afraid to look into. 

So, in closing, if you are a man who gets turned on a little bit when you see two men kiss, don’t lash out, embrace it and move on. If you are a man who feels emasculated by lesbians kissing, remember that you wouldn’t like to be objectified either. I’m not saying that only men have this problem, but I feel like a mojority of the blame can be placed on the heads of men. 

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Topic #15: Society’s View on Gay vs. Lesbian Relationships


So this week’s topic is not really about the military, as the hints might make it seem, but it was inspired by a military story I was reading. This week’s topic is society’s views on male-male (gay), female-male (straight), and female-female (lesbian) relationships, and how people may accept one but not the other, and all of the controversy of accepting say a lesbian relationship as ok, but not a gay one. 

So, the background information:

[Note: to respect the privacy of the people who made these comments, I am blurring out their names. If you want to read the comments for yourself though, I have attached the links to the articles where I found the comments.]

Image 1: U.S. Marine Kissing His Boyfriend

This was the image that sparked my interest in this topic. I was reading comments on an article I was reading, and noticed there were a lot more negative comments on this image than on the image of the Navy woman kissing her girlfriend did.

Some of the comments about the Gay Marine picture:

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/27/us-marine-kissing-his-boyfriend-photo_n_1303848.html

Now I could go on and on and on and on and find more negative posts, but I think you get the point.

Image 2: U.S. Navy Sailor Kissing Her Girlfriend

Now let’s look at some of the comments the female Navy kiss got.

Source: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/nationnow/2011/12/a-public-embrace-between-two-female-sailors-from-california-is-being-hailed-as-the-kiss-heard-round-the-world-by-activists-wh.html

Now don’t get me wrong, there are negative and positive posts on both, but I think that this post sums up the entire purpose of this week’s topic:

Society so often views one thing as ok, but another similar thing as not being ok. Why would someone be ok with a lesbian couple, but not a gay one (or vice-versa)?

So for Him and Her, why do you think that society views two homosexual relationships differently, just because of gender? As some comments put it, why are two women kissing “hot”, and two men kissing “disgusting”?

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Her: Topic #14

So this week’s topic is… painful to think about! Urethral sounding, is inserting an object into the penis, and in the context of fetishes/sex it is for pleasure. First of all, I cannot even begin to IMAGINE how it would be sexually pleasing to insert a metal rod into one’s penis! To me (a girl) it seems like that would not be fun or enjoyable. 

Another thought that came into my head when I read this topic was, “what if you lose your grip on the rod and it goes all the way in?!” That would be a very unpleasant trip to the emergency room to get it out. 

Also, it seems to me that if you keep stretching to the point of no return, it seems as though it could be damaging medically. I’ve also known people who were in the hospital and got an infection from a catheter for medical purposes, so I could see how you could easily get an infection from putting an object into your urethra at home, where there are more germs! Also, in terms of medical issues, a tear in your penis…WHO would want to risk that!!!

On another note, I knew about sounding (because Him told me about it) but I didn’t know that urethral intercourse was something females did as well. I myself, would NEVER do that!

Overall, I find this entire topic to be a bit disturbing and something I myself would never participate in!

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Him: Topic #14

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. OUCH!

I like to think of myself as a pretty openminded guy.  My mind just isn’t open enough to even think about trying Urethral Sounding, or as I like to call it, ‘Oh fuck no.’ I never thought I would say something like this, but sorry, my urethra is an exit ONLY. 

The thought of someone putting ANYTHING up my urethra is enough to make me squirm in my chair and cross my legs repeatedly. I’ve never met anyone that is openly into this particular kink, though I know it’s out there. The fact of the matter is, even if this might feel good, it’s just too risky.

For medical purposed I can totally understand the need for sounding. There are people that have medical issues that require the use of sounds or catheters, those people no doubt grow used to the feeling. Then there are the people that do it for sexual gratification, and to hell with what it does to their penis or vagina. 

I don’t know about our other male readers, but the idea of stretching my urethra for any reason does not sound appealing. Could you imagine trying to pee through a hole big enough to put a finger in? AHH The mess that would make! Not to mention, what happens if something tears? I don’t know that I could handle something like that with a rational mind.

There is of course the BDSM aspect to this particular fetish, and while, as previously stated, I am perfectly comfortable with that community; I could never do this or have this done to me. I wouldn’t be able to get into the scene, I would be too afraid of doing serious damage to my partner, or having it done to me.

This is one of those cases where just because you have a hole there, maybe it would be best to not fuck it. Heaven knows people will, but for me personally, this is a no brainer. Keep junk out of your Urethra people. Only doctors should be poking around in there. 

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Topic #14: Sounding (Urethral)

Sounding or urethral sounding is the medical use of probes called sounds to increase the inner diameter of the urethra and to locate obstructions in it. Sounds are also used to stretch the urethra in order to receive piercing.

Urethral sounding and urethral play are also used to refer to this practice in a sexual context. Both men and women can participate in this kind of sexual play. 

Urethral play can involve the introduction of either soft or rigid items into the meatus of the penis (as well as farther in) and the urethra of the vagina. Objects such as sounds are usually only inserted about halfway into the glans and can usually be easily retrieved. Other toys and items, such as catheters, may be introduced deeper; in some cases even into the bladder. Some items may even be allowed to curl several times or expand within the bladder. This action in the male may be directly or indirectly associated with stimulation of the prostate gland and some types of bladder control. (wiki)

 Urethral sounds/play, sometimes called sounding, is basically inserting objects (often steel sounds and catheters) into the urethra for erotic purposes. Sounds painful and unpleasant to most, but some people get a kick out of this. The pleasure or pain you’re asking about depends on the individual, but those that derive pleasure from sounding often get it from the physical or painful sensations, the psychological arousal, the power exchange, or pleasing their partner. However, people engaging in this play should most definitely have medical training, knowledge, education, and experience through mentorship as the risk of infection, physical injury and damage to the urethra is possible. (askmen)  

In some cases, these scenes can be associated with people into medical scenes (playing amateur urologist hour), or in the BDSM scene, is closely associated with control and dominance. For the submissive/bottom, the psychological idea of being violated in such a manner, the inability to control bladder functions (if catheters are inserted into the bladder) along with the physiological sensitivity of the urethral lining can be quite a trip. For most people, the idea of urethral play is repulsive and dangerous, from my experience I find this to be untrue and wish to share some advice, opinions and suggestions.

In urethral play, you generally have two kinds of instruments that you can use. A sound is one type of device that comes in a variety of widths and is inserted into the shaft. Most people who are heavily into the use of sounds usually try to dilate or stretch the urethra, although there are many who get into seeing how far they can go as well. Sounds are sort of like wands usually made out of surgical stainless steel. Catheters are very different. A catheter is inserted into the shaft with the objective of reaching the bladder. Catheters are much longer and are usually made out of latex or plastic. Some types of catheters, like a Foley, have a small balloon that is inflated after it reaches the bladder. Once the catheter is in, the person who has it in pretty much loses control of when they can piss. There are many different type of both sounds and catheters. Many of the sounds are curved to follow the natural shape of the penis, while some of them are straight and forces the urethra to follow the shape.

Guidelines to Safer Play

* Do not use or take drugs that may deaden any sensations. Injecting lydocaine or any other topical anesthetic into the shaft is dangerous and won’t allow you to tell your limits (especially if your goal is to stretch out your urethra).

* Use water-based sterile lube to aid insertion of objects. Do not use lubes that contains nonoxynol-9 or any flavored lubes, both will irritate the urethra. Oil-based lubes are probably not the lube of choice, especially with anything latex, and also is more difficult to expel when you’re done.

* Be sure everything you use is clean and if possible, sterile… this goes more of less for sounds and other items inserted only into the urethra, not the bladder. Never use an unsterilized catheter or anything unsterilized if you plan on getting into the bladder.

* Encourage pissing after you’re done, this will help to clean out residues, dirt and any other small bacteria that may have come in from the outside.

* Even in hospital conditions infection is not uncommon. Should you get an infection, check it out immediately.

* In any BDSM, if you don’t trust the person doing it, don’t do it.

* Never flush or force any liquids into the bladder.

* Be careful not to let go of the sound when it’s inserted, once the sound is inserted more than 4 inches, the sound will usually rotate slightly and pull the rest of the sound down. Should the sound be totally inserted into the urethra and you lose grip, don’t panic and relax – the sound will come out naturally.

* Be aware that urethral play, no matter how carefully done, does irritate the urethra… so if you have any penetrative sex/oral sex afterwards, use a condom. (Actually, you should be using a condom all the time anyways…) (Contains explicite pictures

Medical Sounding:

Figuring out how to insert sounds into the urethra is something that should be left up to the trained professionals. Inserting anything into your urethra just isn’t a good idea gentleman. Sounds were created to open up any blockages from the penis through the urethra. Without the usage of these sounds probing their ways to the urethra, the afflicted guy would find it painful if not completely impossible to urinate. Sounds are very thin, smooth, and metallic. Many of them have an s-curve at one end in order for the doctor to tease the blockages open. But, how do you get a sound into the urethra? Very carefully. That’s how.

Positioning.  First things first. You can’t insert a sound into the urethra unless the subject is positioned correctly. Your subject has to be resting on his back. This is so you can reach the penis easier. Imagine trying to insert a sound into the urethra with your subject laying on his stomach. It would be pretty much an impossible endeavor.

Insertion. In order to get that sound in there, you have to make sure the penis is soft. It’ll make it easier to allow the sound to slide into the urethra. You are not to force the sound into the urethra. You’re supposed to let it gradually make it’s way to the urethra. The sound will be liberally lubricated before insertion is attempted.

Penal manipulation. One hand should be guiding the sound down the urethra. The other hand should be manipulating the soft penis. You see, you’re not actually pushing the sound down the penis hole, you’re actually moving the penis around the sound. Take into account the shape of the tip of the sound. You’re going to have to move the softened penis around the shape of the sound until you reach the blockages. The weight of the sound will be enough to open up the blockages. Remember, you don’t have to push. Let the weight of the sound cause it to slide down through the urethra. (mademen)

Female Urethral Intercourse:  

Urethral intercourse refers to the penetration of the female urethra by an object such as a penis or finger. It is not to be confused with urethral sounding, the act of inserting a specialized medical tool into the urethra as a form of sexual or fetishistic activity.

The untrained insertion of foreign bodies into the urethra carries a significant risk that subsequent medical attention may be required. Documented cases of urethral intercourse appear to have occurred between heterosexual couples; a survey of the global medical literature available in 1965 reported accounts of thirteen separate cases.However, the stretching of the urethra required by this form of intercourse has also reportedly resulted in a complete and permanent loss of urethral sphinctercontrol (urinary incontinence); furthermore such intercourse would present a very high risk of bladder infection to the receptive partner.