Him and Her Sex Blog

We talk about sex and sexuality

Topic #8: Phone sex, Sexting, and Long Distance Relationships

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This week we are coving all our phone based bases! Long Distance Relationships are technically not dependent on only phones, but we’re just going to squeeze it in. 

1. Phone Sex: is a type of virtual sex that refers to sexually explicit conversation between or other persons via telephone, especially when at least one of the participants masturbates or engages in sexual fantasy.

Phone sex conversation may take many forms, including (but not limited to): guided, sexual sounds, narrated, and enacted suggestions; sexual anecdotes and confessions; candid expression of sexual feelings or love and or discussion of very personal and sensitive sexual topics.

Phone sex exists both in the context of intimate relationships (e.g., among distanced lovers), and as a commercial transaction between a paying customer and a paid professional. (wiki)

Phone sex patrons are overwhelmingly male, and for many of these men it is important for their confessor to be a woman, especially when their confessions involve BDSM roles, cross-dressing, pegging, infantilism or homosexual fantasies. It is not uncommon for people to resort to phone sex as an alternative to revealing their secret desires to a therapist, significant other, or friend.

In effect, the phone sex worker is a surrogate called upon to serve in various roles or capacities specific to each client. In certain cases, a patron may not need a confidant for sexual stimulation, but may simply wish to hear another person’s voice, or want to fulfill some other need, such as a sense of nurturing, sympathy, camaraderie, or other form of emotional intimacy. (wiki) 

Business Information: 

  • Several online companies provide Internet-based phone sex lines. These services enable callers to post profiles of themselves and then engage in VOIP-based and other types of online sex.
  • By the end of the 1980s, nearly all of the major local phone companies, plus the major long distance carriers were actively involved in the adult chat line business. The telephone companies would provide billing services for chat line companies. Typically the telephone companies would bill callers to chat lines and then remit 45% of the money collected to chat line operators.
  • The telephone companies placed the chat line charges on a customers local phone bill. If a customer disputed a charge, the telephone company would usually “forgive” the charge but block the caller from calling any other chat lines.
  • By 2007 only Verizon, Sprint and AT&T remained in the chat line business. By 2007 Verizon and MCI had merged Verizon MCI Merger. Verizon provided billing services to calls made in Massachusetts, Rhode Island and Maine. AT&T and MCI offered nationwide collection services, with a cap of $50 per call.
  • By 2007, only a few chat line companies remained active.
  • The group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington estimates that phone sex earns telephone companies close to $500 million per year.[1]
  • According to the Providence Telephone Company, the average length of a call to a chat line varied by sexual orientation. Gay callers would talk for about 20-minutes per call, while straight callers would talk for about 10-minutes per call.
  • About 30% of all callers were physically challenged (e.g. blind) or unable to leave their homes.
  • Some gay chat hotlines employ a free back door line so that their paying customers are more likely to find other men already online when they call.

 2. Sexting: is the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photographs, primarily between mobile phones. 

Background and Statistics: The first known published mention of the term sexting was in a 2005 article in the Sunday Telegraph Magazine. Sexting has since been described as taking place in the UK, Australia, the United States, and Canada.

In a 2008 survey of 1,280 teenagers and young adults of both sexes on Cosmogirl.com sponsored by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, 20% of teens (13-20) and 33% of young adults (20-26) had sent nude or semi-nude photographs of themselves electronically. Additionally, 39% of teens and 59% of young adults had sent sexually explicit text messages.A sociologist at Colorado College interviewed 80 students and believes this claim is overblown; she claims “I had them go through their last ten messages, their last ten photos and I never saw it.”

Indeed, a widely cited 2011 study indicated the previously reported prevalence was exaggerated. Researchers at the University of New Hampshire surveyed 1,560 children and caregivers, discovering that only 1% of minors over the age of 10 had taken explicit photos. Perhaps shedding light on the over-reporting of earlier studies, the researchers found that the figure rose to 9.6% when the definition was broadened from images prosecutable as child pornography to any suggestive image, not necessarily nude ones.

A 2009 UK survey of 2,094 teens aged 11 to 18 found that 38% had received an “offensive or distressing” sexual image by text or email. (wiki)

A recent survey about sexting statistics enforces the sentiment that the sexting phenomenon just is not going to go away.  This is a serious problem for teenagers. Check the sexting news stories.  Teenagers have been jailed, given probation and the worst case was a suicide because the teenager could not deal with the consequences of the sexting incident. 

MTV partnered with the Associated Press on a study that provides an in depth look at the prevalence of digital abuse among young people today. This research was designed to quantify how young people are affected by and respond to issues like sexting, digital harassment and digital dating abuse,

In total 1,247 respondents, ages 14 to 24, were interviewed.

Here is a summary of the Sexting Statistics that were revealed.

  • 30 Percent of young people report having been involved in some type of naked sexting.
  • Incidence overall is higher among young adults 18-24 with 33 percent than teenagers aged 14-17 with 24 percent..
  • 29 Percent report receiving messages “with sexual words or images” by text or on the Internet.
  • 1 in 10 has shared a naked image of themselves.
  • 13 Percent of females are slightly more likely to have shared a naked photo or video of themselves than males doing it only 9 percent.
  • Those who have shared a naked photo or video mostly report that they initially sent the photo to a significant other or romantic interest. However, 29 percent of those who have sent sexts report sending them to people they only know online and have never met in person.
  • 24 Percent sexted to people they wanted to date or hook up with.
  • While females are more likely to share naked photos or videos of themselves, males are more likely to report receiving a naked photo or video of someone else that has been passed around.
  • 61 Percent of those who have sent a naked photo or video of themselves have been pressured by someone else to do so at least once.
  • 17 Percent of the sexting recipients report that they have passed the images along to someone else.
  • 55 Percent of those who passed the images to someone else say they shared them with more than one person.
  • The most popular reasons given for forwarding sexts include the assumption that others would want to see them (52%), a desire to show off (35%), and boredom (26%).
  • 30 Percent of teenagers also report that they have used sexting as joke or to be funny.
  • 14 Percent of young people who have shared a naked photo or video of themselves suspect that the recipient probably shared the image with someone else without permission.
  • (http://www.athinline.org/MTV-AP_Digital_Abuse_Study_Full.pdf) The full study. 

Legal Cases Pertaining to Sexting: 

  1. In 2007, 32 Australian teenagers from the state of Victoria were prosecuted as a result of sexting activity.Child pornography charges were brought against six teenagers in Greensburg, Pennsylvania, in January 2009 after three girls sent sexually explicit photographs to three male classmates.
  2. In 2008, a Virginia assistant principal was charged with possession of child pornography and related crimes after he had been asked to investigate a rumored sexting incident at the high school where he worked. Upon finding a student in possession of a photo on his phone that depicted the torso of a girl wearing only underpants, her arms mostly covering her breasts, the assistant principal showed the image to the principal who instructed him to preserve the photo on his computer as evidence, which he did. The court later ruled that the photo did not constitute child pornography because under Virginia law, nudity alone is not enough to qualify an image as child pornography; the image must be “sexually explicit”. Loudoun County Prosecutor James Plowman stands by his initial assessment of the photo and says he would not have pursued the case if the assistant principal had agreed to resign. Instead, the assistant principal got a second mortgage on his house and spent $150,000 in attorneys’ fees to clear his name.
  3. In July 2010, Londonderry High School teacher Melinda Dennehy pled guilty and received a one-year suspended sentence for sending racy photos of herself to a 15-year-old student.
  4. In Fort Wayne, Indiana, a teenage boy was indicted on felony obscenity charges for allegedly sending a photo of his genitals to several female classmates. Another boy was charged with child pornography in a similar case.
  5. Police investigated an incident at Margaretta High School in Castalia, Ohio, in which a 17-year-old girl allegedly sent nude pictures of herself to her former boyfriend, and the pictures started circulating around after they had a fight. The girl was charged with being an “unruly child” based on her juvenile status.
  6. Two southwest Ohio teenagers were charged with contributing to the delinquency of a minor, a first-degree misdemeanor, for sending or possessing nude photos on their cell phones of two 15-year-old classmates.
  7. The American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania filed a lawsuit against Wyoming County District Attorney George Skumanick Jr. on March 25, 2009, for threatening teenage girls who were the subject of allegedly risque photos with prosecution on child pornography charges if they did not submit to a counseling program. The case is Miller, et al. v. Skumanick. Skumanick stated in an interview with Julie Chen on CBS News’s The Early Show that his office decided to make an offer of limiting penalties to probation if they attend a sexual harassment program.The girls and their parents won a ruling that blocked the district attorney, who appealed. It is the first appeals court case concerning sexting.

3. Long Distance Relationships: (LDR) is typically an intimate relationship that takes place when the partners are separated by a considerable distance.

In the United States: 

In 2005, according to The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, an estimated 2.9% of marriages in the United States were considered long-distance, with 1 in 10 marriages reported to have included a period at long distance within the first 3 years. This means that in 2005 approximately 3.5 million people in the US alone were involved in long-distance marriages. It is harder to know how many non-married couples are in a long-distance relationship but according to The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships there was an estimated 4 to 4.5 million college couples in the US which were in non-marital LDRs.

Forms of Communication: 
Before the popularity of Internet dating, long-distance relationships were not as common, as the primary forms of communication between the lovers usually involved either telephone conversations or corresponding via mail. However, with the advent of the Internet, long-distance relationships have exploded in popularity as they become less challenging to sustain with the use of modern technology. Technologies including cell phones, e-mail, online chatting and video conferencing have made it possible to keep in touch. Other forms of communication frequently employed by partners in long-distance relationships include:

  1. Letters
  2. Text messaging
  3. VoIP programs
  4. Social networking websites
  5. Shared online activities (e.g., online games such as MMORPGs)

Long distance relationships are becoming more common especially among college students. A lot of the research conducted actually used college student’s opinions and surveyed them on their opinions. By reading multiple sources in which this took place, helped me reach a better understanding of my personal life but also everything that goes into researching even a simple idea. A Long distance relationship does require a lot of effort which is also why some, unfortunately, do not succeed.

LDR Average Statistics: 

The following table shows both the average (median) response and the range of 95% of LDRs from a sample of over 200.

How far apart do they live?

Average: 125 miles

95% range: 30 miles to 950 miles

How often do they visit one another?

Average: 1.5 times a month

95% range: once a week to once every four months

How often do they call one another?

Average: once every 2.7 days

95% range: at least once a day to once a month

How long are their telephone calls typically?

Average: 30 minutes

95% range: 2 minutes to 1 hour 20 minutes

How often do they write one another (not including email)?

Average: three letters a month

95% range: never to every other day

How long do they expect to be separated before they can move closer to one another?

Average: 14 months

95% Range: one month to four years 



More Statistics:

Total percentage of U.S. marriages that are considered long distance relationships: 2.9%

Average amount of time for long distance relationship to break up if it’s not going to work: 4.5 months

Total percentage of long distance relationships that fail when changes aren’t planned for: 70%

Total amount of couple who claim they’re in a long distance relationship: 14 million

Total percentage of marriages in U.S. that start as a long distance relationship: 10%

Total percentage of college relationships that are long distance: 32.5%

Total percent of long distance relationships that break-up: 40%

Total percentage of engaged couples that have been in a long distance relationship: 75%

Total amount of marriages that are long distance relationships: 3.75 million

The following shows both the average (median) response and the range of 95% of LDRs from a sample of over 200

Average distance couple in LDR lived from each other: 125 miles

Average times couple visited each other per month: 1.5

Average amount of time in between phone calls: 2.7 days

Average amount of letters written to each other per month: 3

Average amount of time expected to be separated before LDR couple can move closer together: 14 months

Yet more statistics can be found here: More Long Distance Relationship Statistics

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