Him and Her Sex Blog

We talk about sex and sexuality

I am a almost 20 year old female, who is bisexual, and I recently met a girl who I am interested in. I tried asking her out and she said she wasn't ready for a relationship. Since then I have had difficulty talking to her in person. We are still friends, but things are just different when we talk in person now versus talking over text or facebook. Over text I feel free to talk about whatever but in person I feel cautious. Any suggestions on how to get over the guarded feeling when I talk to her?

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Him: Dear Cautious Bi Girl, 

What seems to be going on here is not very complex, unfortunately for you, you got Him to answer your question, and Him is blunt and to the point. She rejected your advances and now you feel self conscious whenever you are face to face with her. Over Facebook or text you’re able to express your ideas and converse with her without having to worry about WHY she didn’t want to be with you. When you are talking to her in person on the other hand, thats just not the case. 

In person you are forced to look her in the eyes, and remember that she outright rejected your advances, thats a hard blow to take. What you really asked me though is how can you get over these guarded feelings you seem to be having when talking to her. The answer I have for you on that front is going to be one of those easier said than done things. 
What you really need to do is stop thinking of this girl as a prospective partner. When she said she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship right now, what she really meant was “I’m not ready to be in a relationship with you.”

Until you can accept that small fact, you’ll continue to feel guarded when you talk to her. It might take you some time get over that feeling of rejection, but when you do, you’ll be able to really talk to her like you used to! 

On a side note, you’re only 20 years old, if this one girl doesn’t want to date you, I’m willing to give you my word that she won’t be the last girl you’ll be interested, and I promise you won’t get turned down every time! 

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